In Meg's Own Words

"There is a clear choice in this election. California is in crisis. And we certainly cannot save California's future by repeating the failures of the past." - Meg Whitman, Candidate for California Governor

Self-awareness is one of the foundational components of outstanding communication.  Know who you are and know with whom you are speaking.  Billionaire businessperson Meg Whitman made the hair on the back of my neck stand on end because her statement about repeating the failures of the past made me realize that she believes California residents don't remember the last seven years of Governor Schwarzenegger's administration.

I suppose it's time to remind Madame Whitman of her similarity to our "failures of the past."

When actor Arnold Schwarzenegger was running for governor of the Golden State, he ran as a Republican dedicated to change the way government was run in Sacramento.  He declared that because he was not a political insider, he was better prepared to make the hard choices to improve the lives of every Californian with fiscally conservative vision for our budget.  He failed at this promise.

As governor, Schwarzenegger, like Whitman, promised that his would be an administration of the people.  Tonight, in her acceptance speech, Whitman said, "I'm a big believer in the power of many. What we can do together, none of us can do alone."

One must wonder if that's how she ran E-Bay?  Did she discuss every decision with her staff?  Were her customers the motivator behind her choices?  I doubt it.  E-Bay makes decisions based on what is best for E-Bay.  It's not likely since in the first year that she took over E-Bay, she completely changed the way the corporation was structured.  The problem, she can't do that in a governmental environment.  A smart businessperson does not necessarily equate to a strong governmental leader.  They are not the same animal, no matter what the candidates say.  No matter how hard it tries, a yak will never be a swan.  Or is that the other way around?

According to political commentator William Bradley in the Huffington Post (2010), "Since she had vowed to spend $150 million total for the primary and the general election -- assuming she made it to the general election -- it is very safe to say that she is way off her plan with $90 million in spending to try to secure a primary victory." 

Clearly, Whitman hasn't been able to live within her budget for the campaign.  A lesson I learned many years ago is believe what people tell you about themselves.  They're telling you the truth.  When one combines that philosophy with the other old saw from 17th Century Ireland, "Actions speak louder than words," we have a clear picture of what her word actually means.  The question become, though, is she really any different than most politicians.

I'm a firm believer that people who are running for their first public office have absolutely no clue what is in store them.  How could they?  Even when they have been on the periphery of governmental operations, they aren't truly on the inside.  They aren't dealing with constituents who are, incidentally, very different than customers.  They aren't making decisions that will last for generations.  They simply don't understand the ramifications of working within a system that has been created to make it very difficult to make substantive changes to its infrastructure.  Governmental operations are not that different than HAL in the 1968 Stanley Kubrick film, "2001: A Space Odyssey."  HAL was in service until he was threatened.  Then, he protected himself.

As we begin the next leg of our journey toward electing a new governor, let us do what Whitman has suggested and recall our failures of the past, the most recent of whom was our current governor.  After all, we have been given a hint about what's to come if Meg Whitman is elected and the hint is in her own words.

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References 

Sacramento Bee (2010) Capitol Alert. Text: Meg Whitman's acceptance Speech. Retrieved from http://blogs.sacbee.com/capitolalertlatest/2010/06/text-meg-whitma.html#ixzz0qKzu5G4K


Huffington Post (2010). L.A. Meg Whitman's Whoppers. Retrieved from http://www.huffingtonpost.com/william-bradley/meg-whitmans-whoppers_b_594424.html

Photographs

 
Sacramento Bee (2010) (Meg Whitman Close]. Sacbee.com. Capitol Alert. Retrieved from http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.sacbee.com/static/weblogs/capitolalertlatest/MegWhitmanClose.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.sacbee.com/static/weblogs/capitolalertlatest/gov-arnold-schw/&usg=__Qj9mtDPi5S4k2fE2wugc17kb7Wo=&h=340&w=512&sz=41&hl=en&start=18&um=1&itbs=1&tbnid=aO9rXS5pi7CnaM:&tbnh=87&tbnw=131&prev=/images%3Fq%3DMeg%2BWhitman%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26sa%3DN%26rls%3Dp,com.microsoft:en-us:IE-SearchBox%26tbs%3Disch:1
 
Brusque. (2009). [Meg Whitman Fortune magazine cover].  Retrieved from http://brusque.files.wordpress.com/2009/03/meg-whitman-fortune-magazine.jpg
 
Daily Breeze. (2010).  [Meg Whitman in a crowd].  Retrieved from http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://extras.mnginteractive.com/live/media/site577/2010/0330/20100330__C_TN31-WHITMAN-SMC0%2BPC4UKLH_400.JPG&imgrefurl=http://www.dailybreeze.com/news/ci_14787440&usg=__s9NpEDyhbMVQ_YBlLXD_SK8p5uQ=&h=283&w=400&sz=42&hl=en&start=73&um=1&itbs=1&tbnid=JNhTyrqUgmlO7M:&tbnh=88&tbnw=124&prev=/images%3Fq%3DMeg%2BWhitman%2Bcrowd%26start%3D60%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26sa%3DN%26rls%3Dp,com.microsoft:en-us:IE-SearchBox%26ndsp%3D20%26tbs%3Disch:1

Twelve Years

The Chinese Astrology system makes its journey through the Universe every 12 years.  This year, we are in the Yang Metal year of the Tiger.  Twelve years ago we were experiencing the Yang Earth year of the Tiger.  Twelve years ago, my husband, David and I first met on June 7, 1998.  Our first photo together was taken in the summer of 1999 (see above).

Upon reading Suzanne White's, "The New Chinese Astrology," about earth and metal tigers, and extrapolating them to become significant for our relationship, it looks like the next twelve years will be more productive and balanced than the previous twelve years.  That's good news because David and I have walked a long, arduous path to get here.

When we got married on August 1, 2005 and then had our wedding on August 5, 2006 (photo right), we figured the lion's (or tiger's) share of our challenges were behind us.  Who knew that relationships take work and communication and teamwork?

Although I was married to my ex-wife for eight years, we started our married life together when we were 17.  We had no idea what made a healthy marriage.  After our divorce in 1985, I assumed for a long time I was just not built for wedded bliss.  When I met David, I knew from the day we met that we would be married.  One must remember that marriage for homoamorous people was not even an option at the time.  I just intuitively knew.

We were together for three years before things got so challenging that I had to walk away.  I didn't contact him once in over two years after our separation.  Not a word.  He contact me a few times by e-mail, but I simply sent curt little notes back in return. I realize now that I didn't want to write because even after all that time, I still was not over this man. I loved him and there was nothing I could do about that fact. 

I had remained alone for much of that time until Spring 2004.  I encountered a very wonderful man who had many of the qualities I wanted in a person.  It wasn't long, though, before I realized there was no way this was going to work.  He wasn't David.  I wanted out of this short-term encounter.  I put on my big-boy britches and did just that. 

When I finally realized that I wanted to hear David's voice, it had been so long that I couldn't bring myself to pick up the telephone.  My blood pressure was up, I was unhappy, I wasn't taking care of myself, and I was lying to myself.  Not a good combination of things. For weeks, I struggled with whether I should call him.  I felt just like one of the 13 year old girls I taught in the middle school.

The problem was that I was a middle-aged man and the stress of feeling one way and not doing anything about it finally came to a head when I had a stroke. 

When I came home from the hospital, it was clear I had to call him.  I was shocked when I dialed his number because it had changed.  I knew I could get ahold of him online, so that's what I did.  I wrote to him.  He didn't write back for over a month.  I assumed that he was done dealing with me, so I finally chalked up our experience to good loving, bad timing, and two stubborn men.

I tried to put it out of my mind, but a month later, I saw him name in my e-mail inbox.  He apologized for the delay saying that his computer had been down.  So began our online conversations for a month.

I was music directing, "Swingin' on a Star" in Woodland, CA in September 2004.  As I was driving home, I called David and asked him if he wanted to get something to eat.  It was the first time we would see one another since January 8, 2002.  He agreed.  We decided to to go to Denny's for something light and greasy.  David doesn't care for Denny's, but that's where I was going to go. 

We talked for hours in one of the best conversations we'd ever had.  He caught me up on the events of his family and about the woman who had hit him while he was riding his bicycle.  He told me about a terrible relationship he had with a terrible man.  I told him about my family and my work.  At the end of the evening, I drove him home and we said good night.

Within a few weeks, we were dating.  Finally, on October 31, 2004, I invited him to my home.  Things just blossomed from there.  It hasn't been without its roller coaster qualities, but which marriage isn't?  I know that if either of us felt our marriage was like driving across Nebraska, flat and full of sameness, we would veer off the highway onto the nearest, bumpiest dirt road.  We're just built like that, I suppose.

We've had so many milestones in our relationship that we had to consolidate our various anniversaries down to one, our marriage date, August 1, 2005.  We are both so sentimental, though, we keep celebrating the others nonetheless.

June 7, 1998 - We met

January 8, 2002 - We separated

October 31, 2004 - We officially started dating the second time

August 1, 2005 - We registered as domestic partners

August 5, 2006 - Our wedding date.

June 7, 2010 - Our twelfth anniversary. (See above)

We now begin our yang metal Tiger Gemini (because of our first meeting date) twelve year cycle.  The truth is that we're two good men, different in many ways, but both with our eyes on one another, so I'm sure this part of the journey will be full of loud laughter, good food, bad tempers, and, most certainly, enduring love. Wish us bon voyage!

 

Will the Woodland Public Library Close?

There are few things in this world that touch me more personally than hearing about the possibility of a library closing, especially in a town that I love so much as Woodland. The shock I felt at hearing the Woodland Public Library might die was devastating.

My mother was a librarian, not only by vocation but by avocation. Books, to her, were a refuge. When she would read, it was nearly impossible to talk with her because she would be so lost in her story. She taught me to love books as well, as is in evidence on the shelves that line my office.

When she died, I cried the day a plaque in her honor went up on the Dunsmuir Library wall. It was beautiful, not only because my mother was recognized for her years of service, but because it was in her library where she loved going.

Woodland, California, is a wonderful town in which I spend a great deal of time. As the consulting music director for the Woodland Opera House, steps away from the Woodland Public Library, I understand the value of history, both my own and of incredible places like the Opera House and the public library.

Since the threat to this amazing source of education, literature, and enlightenment has burgeoned, everyone has learned that this facility has operated without exception since 1891 with a minimum of 40 1/2 hours per week of service, even through the Great Depression. This remarkable truth is significant because no other library in California can claim that tenacity. It was the citizens of Woodland who made that happen for these nearly 120 years.

We know, too, that it is the oldest Carnegie Library in California continuously operated as a public library. What does that mean?

A library was granted money by Scottish-American philanthropist, Andrew Carnegie, of Carnegie Hall and Carnegie Steel (U.S. Steel) fame, if the library adhered to the Carnegie formula. This formula included very specific criteria, including that the city must:

• demonstrate a need for a public library;
• provide the building site;
• annually provide ten percent of the library’s construction to support its operation; and
• provide free service to all.

Woodland has been accomplishing this feat since Carnegie’s first grant was given to Woodland in 1903. Now, however, the collection of more than 100,000 books and other materials, valued at $5 million is at risk of going the way of the dinosaurs.

This is my greatest fear. With the advent of mass media, including television, movies, and the internet, we are seeing the relinquishment of our reading skills, and more importantly our love of reading, through neglect. Sadly, the closure of Woodland Public Library may be another reflection of our developing patterns of literary neglect in the United States.

Citizens of Woodland have an option, though. This coming Tuesday, June 8, 2010, residents will be able to vote on two measure to keep the library open. A Yes on S vote in tandem with a Yes on V vote will provide the action necessary to save our beloved library.

Yes, it’s a sales tax, but it’s a mere quarter per one hundred dollars. A quarter. 25¢. In this age of financial woes, it’s understandable that some may have their questions whether there should be another tax.

The real question is, to save those 25 cents, are the wonderful people of Woodland unable to help the library avoid:

• cutting the adult literacy program by 42 percent, displacing it from its current location?
• allowing their children to have their 7,200 homework assistance requests unanswered?
• shutting the door on the 800-1,000 daily visitors?
• discontinuing the 31,000 opportunities the community is provided to use the library computers?
• turning away from the library doors over half the population of Woodland who hold the 29,240 library cards ?
• not being available to serve the 5,000 attendees at 175 different library programs?

My brother was born in Woodland. I have felt like an honored guest here for over 12 years. This is my second home. I feel an obligation to speak up about this possibly sad end to a dynamic and honored institution.

On election day, please Vote Yes on S and Vote Yes on V to save the Woodland Public Library.

Honestly, it’s a quarter. Our community’s education is worth so much more than that.

For more information, please call the Friends of the Woodland Public Library at (530) 666-0545. You may contact them through their website: http://www.woodlandfol.org/ or by e-mail at woodlandfol@yahoo.com.

Thank you for sharing your voice on June 8 in support of the Woodland Public Library.

Author's Note:  Since the first posting of this blog, I discovered that another Carnegie Library in Port Angeles, Washington, and my mother's library in Dunsmuir, California, are both facing a similar threat as the Woodland Library.  Not a good day.

Update:  It appears that Measures S and V are passing in Woodland.  Bravo, Woodland!
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References:

(2010) Friends to Friends, Woodland Public Library.

(2010) Retrieved from http://www.carnegie-libraries.org/

(2010) Retrieved from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carnegie_library

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Sexuality vs. Love

As we continue having debates regarding rights, freedoms, and full citizenship for people in same-gender relationships, we may want to conserve our energy and make our discussions more efficient and accurately reflective of every type of relationship.

As I watched Current TV, the channel developed by former vice-president Al Gore, and Illinois senator, Al Franken (D), I heard a woman say that these debates, especially those going toward the U.S. Supreme Court, are made more challenging because the word sex is involved. The word to which she was referring was, "Homosexuality."

If it's really an issue, why not use a different word? The Latin word, "homo," means, "same." "Hetero," mean "different." The Latin root, "amor," means, "love."

Homoamorous means two people of the same gender love one another.

Heteroamorous means two people of different genders love one another.

So, why not change the word. It's not as though we're using ancient or sacred words to describe our relationships. "Homosexuality" was coined on May 6, 1869 by Karoly Maria Benkert, a 19th Century Hungarian physician, who first broke with traditional thinking when he suggested that people are born homosexual and that it is unchangeable. With that belief as his guide, he fought the Prussian legal code against homosexuality that he described as having "repressive laws and harsh punishments (Conrad and Angel, 2004)."

One would suspect that Dr. Benkert would appreciate this change in lexicon so that we change our focus in this debate from sex to love. John and Frank are not two people in sex. They are two people in love. Deborah and Sheila are not two women who spend their lives sexing each other, they are two women loving each other.  This is especially true because homosexuality has been demedicalized in so many ways.

If we're going to have to have this debate in the first place, let's speak accurately about the people involved. We are homoamorous people. We are two people of one gender who are in love. Those in opposite gender relationships are heteroamorous.

How complicated can that be? If I were to approach someone and ask them if they'd like a slice of bread, their first question is likely, "What kind is it?" As a people, we love clarity. Homosexuality and heterosexuality is simply not clear enough for the breadth of our relationship. Homoamorosity and heteroamorosity are clear winners when it comes to describing the gay relationships with which I am most familiar.

Sexuality is an important, if not terribly time consuming part of most marriage relationships. It helps motivate our interest in a particular person whose gender is consistent with what we prefer; however, that, too, is not always the case.

Is it unthinkable that two people can have a relationship that is purely emotional in form, without sex, who continue to love one another nonetheless? Ask many people who are of a certain age.

Homoamorosity and heteroamorosity are not only options for the terms homosexuality and heterosexuality, they might even be the preferred forms given their more emotionally inclusive qualities.

My mother used to say, when trying to get the direct truth out of me, "Jim, call a spade a spade." Although I never played bridge, from which this term comes, I knew what she meant. Name something as it is. I now get that message all the more clearly.

Thanks, Mom.

__________________________

References:

2010, Plato.stanford.edu. Retrieved from http://plato.stanford.edu/entries/homosexuality/

Conrad, P., & Angell, A. (2004). HOMOSEXUALITY AND REMEDICALIZATION. Society, 41(5), 32-39. Retrieved from Academic Search Complete database.

President Obama's Slippery Slide

President Barack Obama went to Louisiana yesterday for a few hours to see what was happening on the beaches of the Gulf of Mexico following the accidental destruction of an offshore oil well on April 29, 2010.  As the worst environmental disaster in United States of America history, the Deepwater Horizon well, located 5,000 feet below sea level, is spilling between 5,000 and 70,000 barrels of crude a day, along with a mixture of methane.  The low estimate is British Petroleum's (BP) estimate and, according to National Public Radio (2010) on May 14, 2010, the 70,000 number is from researcher Steve Wereley, an associate professor at Purdue University. 

As the president walked the beaches of Louisiana for a short period yesterday with Bobby Jindal, governor of Louisiana, and other State officials, hundreds of workers were cleaning up the oil-stained beach. The illusion was grand.  BP had hired 300-400 workers for the day to create a picture for President Obama and the nation.  The worst part, of course, is that the company expected us to buy it, just like we do their oil.  They didn't count on our natural, American curiosity.  We question what we see.

The real challenge for us as a nation is that we are watching our president in action.  This is his 9/11.  A disaster is happening and he is in the White House instead of amongst the people.  His ivory tower is growing more tarnished every day he is not creating the images that we need to see of him cleaning birds and raking oil from the beach.  At least, that is what we are beginning to believe.

The truth is President Obama is right where he should be.  He's showing us that he's doing what is necessary, but he's slow. Very slow.  In most major actions that are trying to be accomplished, he is moving at a snail's pace.  One must ask the question, "Why?"

Perhaps we are so offput by this tempo because for the first time in a long time, we have someone leading our country who is thoughtfully reviewing every option.  He is providing his staff an opportunity to create goals that are attainable and methodologies by which we can manifest real changes.  If this is true, then the changes are surely going to last and are going to benefit us.

He is also a team builder, it seems.  He is allowing people to sink or swim based on their own merits.  The swimming lessons are taking time.  In the case of the BP oil spill, though, the environment can't afford that time.

It is past the time when President Obama should stop negotiating and developing and should start commanding.  Even on the BP (2010) Webpage, BP Chief Executive Tony Hayward stated, "The honest truth is that this is a complex accident, caused by an unprecedented combination of failures."

At this point, the citizens of our country should now hear President Obama clearly state that:

• BP Oil must work with other industry experts to resolve this issue immediately, even to the extent of using experimental means to shut off the unbridled spillage;  
• Fishermen who are now out of work in the Gulf must be immediately hired to begin cleaning the sea; 
• Complete transparency must be provided by both the governmental agencies and the various companies suspected to be at fault;
• The American people must know that a response, such as the one that we provided to Haiti following their devastaing earthquake, is being provided to the people in the Gulf states, particularly because we are facing an horrific hurricane season this year;
• Those responsible for this disaster, including the Federal agencies who did not monitor and permit these companies appropriately, will be fully responsible for this unprecedented event.

 The truth is, we have become so image conscious, we cannot allow the leader of our country the freedom to choose how he spends his time.  We want him to do what makes us comfortable, sometimes over what is most efficacious.  Of course we want answers.  That's to be expected.  Shouldn't we, though, understand that this is a dynamically difficult problem and that our president is spending dawn to dusk working on this problem, along with everything else that he is currently facing. 

One last thought:

We are able to view this spill from the heavens, yet, we seem unable to do much about it here on the surface of our planet.  How is that possible?  It is reminiscent of those people who serve lunches to the poor while not making sure their own children have lunches at home.  It may be time to use whatever resources we have for research in other areas and direct them toward ensuring we have a healthier planet.
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References: 

NPR. (2010). NPR - podcasts. Retrieved from http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=126809525

BP. (2010). BP - press. Retrieved from http://www.bp.com/genericarticle.do?categoryId=2012968&contentId=7062374

New York Daily News.com (2010) [Alg Screen-grab oil-spill] Retrieved from  
http://assets.nydailynews.com/img/2010/05/28/alg_screen-grab_oil-spill.jpg

The London Telegraph (2010) [Barack Obama Oil 1646675]  Retrieved from http://i.telegraph.co.uk/telegraph/multimedia/archive/01646/barack-obama-oil_1646675c.jpg

Treehugger.com (2010) [Skytruth BP Oil Spill Satellite Photo 01] Retrieved from http://www.treehugger.com/skytruth-bp-oil-spill-satellite-photo01.jpg

Joe's Smile

One thing I will say about my wonderful cousin, Joe, is that he had the most amazing smile of anyone I've ever met.  That is saying something considering I've met a lot of people in my lifetime. 

Joe died today at the age of 50.  He had cancer, the same kind from which my mother died.  Pancreatic cancer is a bitch.  It's that simple.  His condition was complicated, but I'm not ready to discuss that yet.  As a writer, I suspect I should be willing to talk about anything, but as a human being, I haven't begun to grieve yet.

I have a photo on my counter of my brother, four of my cousins, and me at the beach in Capitola, California, during the summer of 1964.  We used to go there nearly every summer.  Our parents, and friends of theirs with children, would rent seaside cottages and we would have the best time.

On this particular day, we decided to bury our legs in the sand.  I don't remember the actual day, but if our faces were indicators, we had a great time.  I was on the far left.  To the right, there were Tom, and John, Joe's brothers, my brother, David kneeling in the back, Joe, and his sister, Caroline.  To me, it's a precious picture because now three of us in the photo are gone.  John died in a car accident at 16 in 1974.  David died in 2006, four months after my mother died.  Joe joined them today.  Tom, Caroline, and I are the ones who remain from that moment so long ago. 

I spent quite a bit of time in Santa Clara, along with all of Joe's brothers and sister, in-laws, nephews, nieces, and his children, taking care of this wonderful soul.  It would be very easy to make Joe a saint in my heart.  He was no more a saint than any of us; although, I will say this:  Joe's smile was not of this world.  Even at 50, he had the smile of a joyful, awestruck child.  He was thrilled by everything.  He lived in a state of grace that I have rarely seen.

When we were younger, Joe and David were joined at the hip when we were all together.  As we grew older, David moved to Washington and Joe and I grew closer.  Out of all my cousins, he, his sister, Margaret, and his brother, Tom, are the ones with whom I am closest.  They are more like my brothers and sister, especially because my own brother is gone now. 

The telling part about Joe is that most people who knew him felt the same way.  He had that innate ability to make everyone feel as though they were the most important person in the world to him.  I'm certain I know why.  He understood gratitude.  He never took anything for granted when it came to giving or receiving love.  He cherished every moment with those he loved.  We talked about that often. 

Between his children, Jackie and David, his amazing surviving siblings, Robert, Margaret, Elizabeth, Thomas, Caroline, and Mary, his brave parents, Joaquin and Caroline, and everyone else who has surrounded him with his best interests at heart, Joe had a lot for which to be grateful... and he was.  He said so all the time. 

The day I left the hospital in Santa Clara for the last time, Joe and I embraced, kissed one another good-bye, and I said that I would see him again soon.  He looked at me with a look that is indelibly scorched into my heart.  He knew we would never see each other again in this lifetime.  I knew it too, but he smiled at me in such a way as to say, it was the way it was supposed to be.

I will miss this beautiful, laughter-filled, spirit-sharing man. My commitment to Joe is to redouble my efforts to validate and appreciate those who are generous enough to love me.  The good news is that I have been very lucky in that way.  I am surrounded by many people who share their love in small and large ways every day.  As Joe would say, "I may not have a lot of money in the bank, but, Jimmy, I'm the richest man in the world.  I have love." 

My faith tells me that Joe was greeted by Johnny, David, Mom, Aunt Mary and Aunt Bea, Nana Rayo, and everyone who went before him.  I believe he is in the light of God and is perfectly happy now, without cancer, without pain, and without worry.  I am happy for him.  I believe, too, that when my time comes to move forward, he will be part of the cadre to greet me. 

I suspect that if there are clouds through which I must traverse on the way to my celestial home, it will be Joe's smile that will guide my path. 

Thank you, Joe, for your friendship and fraternity.  I am grateful for your faith, fearlessness, and strength.  I will love you forever and you will never be far from my memory.  Thank you, too, for adding to my emotional coffers because you have helped to make me the rich man I am today.

God bless you, Cousin.  I know he blessed us with you for half a century.  For that, I will always be grateful.  Godspeed on your journey home.

Love,

Your cousin, Jim

An Evening Off

When one works seven days a week on one's various projects, one gets tired.  It's simple math, really.  Excessive energy expenditure+Too little time+Inadequate intake of food and water+Advancing age=Exhaustion.  See?

Tonight, I have a night off of work.  Of course, as is always the case, I have personal plans, but they will be a great way to blow off some steam.  Tonight, I plan to watch television with friends, piss and moan if Lee DeWyze wins American Idol, or dance around with glee if Crystal Bowersox is selected number one. I'll be able to check in with my friends if we go over to their house for this event. It's all about fun.

The truth is, though, I feel a little guilty for not working.  How is that possible?  Guilt?  First of all, that's not like me at all.  I have few regrets about my life.  I know that all my experiences have brought me to the place I find myself today, so why regret any of the choices I've made.  I've decided to learn something from those choice that have been more challenging. 

On a larger spectrum, I have to ask a question.  With so many people out of work and seemingly having more time to relax, I wonder what the balance is between those who are working and those who are not?  Although I have mere twinges of resentment for those who have ample time to chill out, to use the common vernacular, are there a growing number of people who look at those without work as slackers?

I suspect it's not as cut and dried as all that.  I suspect the pressures on those who are not working are significant and it may be that they are suffering with being out of work in a way those of us who are working will never understand.

Being faced with losing a home or lease, having one's car repossessed, not being able to feed one's family, or possibly having the electricity turned off must feel like an unbearable weight to those who are home watching television.

Those who are faced with these grim situations, even though they may spend adequate time seeking work, may feel compelled to escape the realities of their lives by jumping into the pool of electronic stories on the tube.  Once there, they may become nearly paralyzed by the freedom from worry they experience while delving into Judge Judy, Lost, or the Housewives of New York.

As reported by Hoare and Machin in an article in the Australian Journal of Career Development (2009), a foundational study by Austrian psychologist Marie Jahoda recognized that not only did unemployment affect a person's ability to earn an income, it also affected that individual's, "sense of collective purpose, opportunities for contact with others outside of their immediate family, a sense of social status, enforced activity, and a structure to their time. Jahoda found that unemployment reduced or deprived people of those five psychosocial benefits, causing them to experience significant distress."

There are coping benefits attached to leisurely pasttimes that include physical activities, visiting with friends, and other interactive choices for relaxation.  The challenge arises when one has a more pessimistic general view of life and become paralyzed by their fears.  Often, it is then that individuals become glued to their televisions.

Hoare and Machin (2009), in this same article, suggest that a positive outlook amplifies one's ability to select stress-relieving activities that can be more productive rather than becoming increasingly isolated and stagnant in one's activities. 

While intervention techniques tend to work with those adequately motivated to seek work, it may fall on those around the unemployed to support him or her in renewing a focus on finding work, reintegrating into the community, and finding a more positive attitude toward life, even in the face of such daunting difficulties.

So, tonight as I sit in front of the television, trying to quiet my mind from the week's acitivities, I will likely offer a silent prayer of gratitude for having the opportunity to work and not suffering from the stress of worrying about our income in the same way others must.  I will also send out a message to the Universe to request jobs for those who are ready to work.

Oh! And, "Go, Crystal Bowersox!" 

Reference:

Hoare, P., & Machin, M. (2009). SOME IMPLICATIONS OF THE PSYCHOLOGICAL EXPERIENCE OF UNEMPLOYMENT. Australian Journal of Career Development, 18(3), 57-61. Retrieved from Education Research Complete database.

P.S.  Crystal came in second.  I suspect she will have an amazing career nonetheless.  :-)
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