Friday, June 25, 2010

Our Second Hand

There are days when minutes feel like years and
Years seem like seconds. 
There are looks that last a lifetime and
Lifetimes that take only moments.
When will the hands on the clock meet the
Beat of our heart-spirit,
So that everything resonates at the level of
Our soul's second hand? 

It is when we breathe in peace, and
Exhale gratitude
With the most vivid passion our lives can muster.

_________________________

Person Life Juggler Clock by Michelle Allen Designs
Photo retrieved from http://www.squidoo.com/MichelleAllenDesigns

Thursday, June 24, 2010

A Letter from a Polish Woman

"Why do you have a Polish word in the title of your blog? I am not sure I like it being associated with some of your views." - Chrissy (June 23, 2010)

I received these two sentences in a comment to my previous blog site.  It took me aback.  I don't know Chrissy.  She clearly does not know me.  As she read some of my blogs, she felt compelled to exercise her First Amendment freedom to write me a brief note telling me that my views were not consistent with that which she believed the Polish community would approve.  Apparently, as a Polish man, I am supposed to be sensitive to how the Polish community is perceived and censor myself in that light. 

I disagree.

This was my response to Chrissy:

"Dear Chrissy,

"Thank you for writing. The reason I have the word, 'Powodzenia,' in my title is because as a Polish man, I love the meaning of the word, which I’m sure you know means good luck. It appears you believe that all Polish people believe the same way you do. I am sorry to inform you that this is not the case. There are liberals and conservatives, Democrats and Republicans, Christians and Jews, and many other polarities that can be found in our culture, as in every culture. I am surprised, however, to find someone who feels they can speak for an entire culture as you seem to be attempting to do.

"The other aspect of my concern is that as an American, under the First Amendment of the Constitution of the United States, I am freely entitled to express my views and use whatever language I choose. Lech Walensa also fought for those same rights in Poland. As a Polish culture, we have been embattled for centuries with being overrun by Russians, Germans, and many other countries in their futile attempt to cripple or destroy our culture. We were thrown in concentration camps during World War II, not because we were Jewish, but because we were simply Polish. No one person or foreign culture has been able to accomplish that goal. We Poles are too strong.

"It is with this understanding that I invite you to remember our culture, to celebrate the fact that we are free to speak our minds and hearts as both Poles and Americans, and to move toward a more compassionate understanding of others’ views. It is the same appearance of your close-mindedness that incited some of the greatest tragedies in our common Polish history.

"Powodzenia, pani Chrissy,

"James"

Some may suggest that I should have asked her about which views she found so offensive as to inspire her typing these two phrases.  I suppose I'm not a very sensitive listener/reader, because I was not at all concerned about that.  It could have been my views on politics, equal rights, our military, or my support of Tyreke Evans from the Sacramento Kings as Rookie of the Year.  That wasn't the point. 

In 2010, some of our citizens still think that we are supposed to have a homogeneous belief system to which everyone must ascribe.  These same citizens also believe, as is in evidence from Chrissy's note, that those who do not believe in the same way should be silenced, or at least, not identify themselves as part of the accepted majority.   This concept takes me directly to other periods in history when individuals suggested that this would be the best course of action. 

What a tiny world in which Chrissy and all the other Chrissys (Chrissies?) must live.  My father's entire family is Polish and I know that we represent the spectrum of philosophies and belief systems.  We argue about them and laugh about them, but what we do not do is attempt to silence those around us who disagree.  We know that this would be ethically criminal.

So, to Chrissy, and those who share her beliefs, I offer no apologies or other explanations for what I write.  I only offer my pride in my Polish heritage, my gratitude for my citizenship as an American, and my awe at the freedom I enjoy as a writer.

A House, A History, and Shriveled Beans

When I moved into my house in 2004, it looked brand new... well, it nearly was.  Having been built only in 2000, I was merely the second owner.  The previous owner was a contractor, so it had some fun upgrades; nothing fancy, just entertaining ones.  After 27 years in my old house, I was ready for a new place in which to entertain my family and friends, while living a gentle life of my choosing.  The house is ten years old now and magically, issues are starting to appear.

Tiles are cracking on the corners of counters like brittle finger nails.  The water system has mysteriously begun to shut off like bad arteries in a person who doesn't eat right.  The pool pump is sucking up water like an uncontrolled diabetic. Light sockets are going out of someone with cataracts.  Are you getting a theme here? 

My question is, how does a house deteriorate so fast.  It's not as though we don't do the routine maintenance.  Our house is clean.  We mow the lawn.  We clean the pool... sometimes.  We fix what goes wrong.  Perhaps, it has something to do with the quality of the building.  Beazer Homes built this section of town called, Gateway West.  They are being faced with a huge class action suit by our neighbors.  It seems as though all the houses in the area had corners cut, not unlike our counters, that are causing grief for many of the homeowners in the area. 

As I drive by the homes in downtown Sacramento, huge Victorian monstrosities, built in the early part of the 20th Century, I see these homes still standing and in beautiful condition.  Admittedly, some of them were upgraded over the years to meet contemporary building codes and to withstand earthquakes that are so much more common in California than in many places.  As the plaster cracks on the facade of my house and doors settle enough to cause difficulty opening and closing them, I am left harboring some envy of those grand old dames that populate the tree-as-sentry-lined streets of central Sacramento.  What is the difference between their homes and mine?  The answer is obviously work ethic.

When those homes were built in the 1910s and '20s, they were built to last with outstanding materials, expert craftsmanship, and an attention to detail that, outside of multimillion dollar homes, cannot be found in the newer models today.  There is something to be said for valuing one's reputation and others' happiness and security. Those are qualities that must be rebuilt, along with our homes as they fall apart.

Once upon a time, as a nation, we were proud of what we created.  Building or producing something that was of poor quality left us feeling embarrassed and newly motivated to change our ways.  I don't know if that's the truth any longer.  Our goal now is to sell whatever it is we are manufacturing.  What happens after the sale seems to be none of our concern.  The problem is that it should be our concern. 

I am not one who says that we should do everything the way we used to do it.  Honestly, I'd rather not live in the a country that has medical practices or the technology of 1910.  Leeches and horseback riding for miles wouldn't be my favorite things.  There are qualities, though, that would serve us well in 2010, such as integrity, veracity, diligence, and community.

With as creative as it turns out we are, why is it that every time we talk about the subject of personal qualities, we cannot get beyond the cost of quality?  What prevents us from putting our ingenuity to work to create low cost, high quality items; even when it comes to manufacturing high end items like homes?  It just doesn't make any sense.

Many of us will suggest that it is because people will lose their enormously large bank rolls.  The larger the profit margin the happier some people are.  Some people value money over everything else.

I wish I were smart enough to figure out how to build an inexpensive home with a very high quality standard.  It would be my pleasure to create a sophisticated laptop that costs only $50.  A huge thrill for me would be to feed four people in a restaurant for $10. These are wishes that with my knowledge base is not very likely to be my experience; however, someone out there may be able to do it. 

Say what you will, Taco Bell is feeding four, with a Beefy Five Layer Burrito, a drink, and chips for about ten dollars.  Small notepads are being produced for $200, which is better than the $600 to $1,000 for other "low-end" technology.  These dreams are starting to come to fruition which is the good news. 

Now, let's take a look at building homes.  Could there be more good news around the corner about green technology with regard to building materials and energy saving technologies?  We have solar positioning, EnergyStar appliances, natural ventilation, and sandbag and adobe homes already popping up; but we're still paying hundreds of thousands of dollars for these homes. 

What does it say about a culture that takes zealous pride in paying a large amount of money for something?  What is wrong with a nation that prizes elevated costs, ridiculous extravagance, and strings of zeros after a number to reflect their bank accounts, rather than ensuring everyone has access to health care, children with a solid education, family stability, or fewer of their family members in prisons?

There was a time when more people were grateful when their project became successful and they were rewarded for their hard work and innovation.  It seems as though, as a culture, we are developing higher expectations for doing less, and providing less from our work.  We are growing an entitled society.  As we listen to people judge the poor for asking for help, we are seeing the wealthy do the same thing.  The only difference is that the wealthy do not need the help.  Those with ample bank accounts implore us to offer them our hard earned money while they provide poorer service, below-standard products, and empty promises. 

Greed, although described as one of the seven deadly sins, is not so dramatic as all that.  It is a tragic symptom of our group fear of lack.  We are so afraid that we will be without what we need that we surround ourselves with things.  I say, "we," purposefully because I have art on my walls, a wedding ring with a nice diamond, and expensive books that I purchased before our financial struggles began.

Some of us believe that if we have only two beans, we'll share one of them with our neighbor.  If that neighbor is very hungry, we might even give them both beans, hoping that soon, other beans may come.

Beazer Homes does not appear to be that interested in sharing their beans. Although they are in mediation, one would assume in good faith, they continue fighting the lawsuit because, perhaps, they honestly believe the homes they manufactured were the best they could do.  How sad for them.  Those of us who purchased our homes in good faith for several hundreds of thousands of dollars seem to be stuck with those dried up, dark, and shriveled beans that we always find in the bag of pintos.  What we had hoped would be a wonderful soup or plate of refried beans turns out to be nothing more than tooth-chipping stones; and, we continue to find more of those stones the longer we eat.

Sunday, June 20, 2010

La Familia Gutierrez Pavia

This weekend, we celebrated the life of my beloved, late cousin, Joseph Chavez, at Lima Memorial Chapel.  It was a time of closure, sadness, joy, and unity.  I am so grateful to have been able to go. 

After we left the service, we returned to what had been Joe's home for 25 years for a bite to eat and visit with family we hadn't seen for quite some time.  As people were leaving, we decided to go to the cemetery where a large number of our family is buried, Santa Clara Mission Cemetery, to pay our respects to our progenitors.  It was there we decided to take photographs at the gravesite.

We first visited the mausoleum crypts of Joe's mother's parents, Manuel and Ann (Silveira) Machado.  It was then time to visit the grave of our mutual grandmother, Clara "Rayo" Gutierrez Chavez and her father, Sostenes Gutierrez.  With us were two of my second cousin's daughters, Charlotte and Sophia, ages 5 and 3 respectively.  They are both energetic, beautiful children who are abundantly full of life.  As we were there, I decided to take a picture of these wee ones sitting on the grave of their great-great-great grandfather, born in 1845 and great-great grandmother born in 1901.

It wasn't until I got home that I recognized just how deeply poignant that moment was at a variety of levels.

First, here were children, born 160 years after their 3rd great grandfather, visiting him and learning his name for the first time.  "Sostenes," I pronounced several times for their benefit.  They didn't know he had come from Parral, Chihuahua, Mexico.  They couldn't have realized that his wife died in 1908 in El Paso leaving him with eight children, four of whom were still at home. They weren't aware that he had come to Santa Clara in the 1910s via El Paso, Texas. They had no idea about any of it.  All they knew was that they were with family.  They seemed contented with that security.

Second, I realized that my work with genealogy records dating back to the 18th Century was being shared with little people... our little people... who may see the 22nd Century if we're lucky and modern medicine continues on the path it's going.

Third, the photograph we took of the girls at the gravesite, and recorded on various websites and e-mails, will likely exists for generations to come.  When these precious little girls, who were about the same age as my grandmother, Rayo, the little girl standing front and center in the photo to the right, share this visual record with their children or grandchildren, the span of our family will likely reach 200 years by then.

The feelings about the continuity of life are very strong when confronted with little girls sitting on familial concrete.  This is especially true when one looks at Sophia's face and recognizes baby Rayo's face in the center front of this sepia photo.  Will she carry the traits of her 2nd great grandmother... or her 3rd or 4th great grandmothers, who are also in the center top and middle, respectively.

From the time our senior grandmother was born in approximately 1820 until today is nearly 200 years.  Our little Sophia and Charlotte are living proof of our tenacity to survive as a family.  They represent our future.  In the same way as they know their Grandma Caroline, who was born in the 1920's, and present in the photos from this weekend, the eldest grandmother in the photo likely knew her grandmother from 50 years before in 1770.  The Gutierrez-Pavia line, from which these girls descend as part of a much larger tree, lives on in their faces, genes, history, and now memories.

So, as Joe begins his journey home to be with the God in whom he most fervently believed, he also becomes a catalyst for family learning, growth, unity, and love... as usual.  What a powerful day to remember how death is a part of life, and that even after someone is gone, they live on in the memories of their families by the grace of God.

Seven generations of love and history.

Señor y Señora Gutierrez (1810s) - Señor y Señora Pavia (circa 1820's)
to
Sostenes (1844-1933) y Maria Teresa (1856-1908)
to
Clara "Rayo" (1901-1942) y Angel (1887-1931)
to
Joaquin and Caroline
to
Robert and Barbara 
to
Cynthia and Rye
to
Charlotte and Sophia

Dad

This is my tenth Father's Day without my Dad, Floyd Glica (see left).  It's unfathomable to think I haven't been able to call him on this day for a decade.  I miss him so much, but I think I've learned that when I simply think of him, and perhaps pray for him, I can have him near me in spirit. 

My birth father, Robert Arroyo, thankfully, is still living.  I value the fact that I can still hear his voice when I call, if only on an answering machine sometimes.  As I get older and learn more about him, I am finding that this genuinely good man has passed on some good genes to me for which I am eternally grateful. 

There are things I've learned in life and things that came to me naturally.  It is in this statement that I find both my fathers.  They are equally important to me and, interestingly enough, make it easier to see where each of these qualities originate. 

From my Glica dad, I grew to learn professionalism, an ability to be a loving grandfather, to speak my mind, and to love the arts of all kinds.  I've learned that patience is incredibly important, especially for one who has had to learn that lesson the hard way. 

From my Arroyo dad (see right), I gained the ability to be a vivid storyteller, think logically, have an innate love of family, and stay strong, no matter what I face.  I've recognized that my first dad gave me many gifts that I wouldn't have realized came from him had I not been blessed with time to spend with him. 

They are both Dads in different ways, certainly, but Dads nonetheless. 

In my own fatherhood, I have seen both of my fathers appear.  Dad (Floyd) had very high expectations of what my brother, David, and I should accomplish in life.  He created an environment in which learning was something to cherish.  Living in a manner that included new adventures, open eyes, and awe was something he modeled in a million ways throughout our 40 years together before his death in 1999.  I made sure my children were reared with the same love of creation.

Dad (Bob) knew that to respect his sons' freedom of choice and intelligence would give them wings to fly later in life.  When I hear him talk to my brothers, Eric, Mark, and Darren, who grew up with him, I can see that they trust themselves partly because they had that freedom assured by my father and their mother.  He also lovingly accepted them, and me for that matter, for who we are and as we are, even when his sons made choices that made things more difficult for themselves.  From all appearances, my children are flying on their own wings from the generations of genetic trust in our progeny I received from my father of birth.

So, thank you, Fathers, for my life and my Life.  You have both contributed so much to make me who I am.  From both of you, in your own ways, I have gained the confidence to claim my life, be responsible for that life, and celebrate every moment of it.  Without you, I wouldn't be the man I am today.  Some days, I'm sure you may question whether I am giving you credit or blame, but I'd like to think it is more credit.  God knows I honor you both in my heart and in my spirit for the gifts you've brought to my life.

Zadowolony Ojciec Dzień, Dad.  Feliz Día de los Padres, Dad.  I love you both very much.

Your son,

James